First Words
by LaughingLadybug
Summary: Abe says his first words.


She walked the floor, humming a lullaby just for me. I wanted to tell her I wasn't sleepy, that I much rather listen to her sing to me all day and stay cuddled up in her arms, but I can't. So, instead, I listen to her sing to me while moving around as much as I can. She carries me upstairs and I whimper. I wish could tell her no, that I didn't want to go, but I can't.

I can't talk. Yet.

As soon as I'm in my crib, I cry and Mommy picks me back up. "You're a spoiled little boy," she sighs then kisses my nose. I don't know what that means, but I like it when Mommy kisses my nose, so that's okay. We go back downstairs and Mommy sets us both down in the big chair, the one that Daddy likes so much. Mommy starts rocking me back and forth, and I yawn then rest against her. Maybe I am sleepy. I wiggle around a bit before finding the best spot t sleep.

All of a sudden, there's a loud bang and the room is cold. I cry. The loud noise scared me, the cold doesn't help either. I hear Mommy say that it's all okay, that it's only Daddy, but I'm still scared. I hide myself in her neck, hoping that all the scary things in the world won't find me there. "Henry, I think you've scared the poor dear half to death," Mommy says.

Suddenly my holder changes. These arms are much bigger than Mommy's arms. And this person smells different too. I look up, it's just Daddy. "Oh, did I scare you Abe?" I sniffle. "I'm so sorry, Daddy didn't mean to scare you!" Now he's rocking me from side to side, bouncing just a little bit. That's how Daddy always rocks me. I look at him and smile, and he smiles back.

Mommy asked him about his day and Daddy answered with a lot of words I don't know, except for a few: dead, dying, and death. Each time Daddy says one of them he looks happy and sad. Like it was something he really wanted, really couldn't wait to have, but knew he couldn't have. Like me when I see Daddy cutting up his food with all the different types of shiny things. I want them so bad, but I know I can't have them. Not yet.

He looks like that all the time. I don't like it. I wish I could make Daddy smile again. I don't know how, but I do what I can. I try to smile at him and cuddle up to him, and it makes him happy for a little bit, but he's always sad later. Daddy carries me to my room as I lay my head on his shoulder and try to think of what to do next. Daddy stops in front of my crib and rocks me some more, bouncing a little while rubbing my back. I yawn and stretch. "Sleep tight, little one," he whispers, "I'll see you in a bit." He goes to place me in my bed and I grip his shirt. I wish I could tell him not to go, but I can't, so holding on will have to do for now. He sighs, "Abe, let Daddy go." I whimper, I don't want Daddy to go, but I know I have to. So, I do. He places a quick kiss on my head and puts me to bed. Daddy then walks out, turning out the lights but leaving the door open a little.

That's when I start working on my plan.

Mommy and Daddy have been trying to get me to talk for a long time. I think it's time I start. I know what I want my first word to be, and I think it will make Daddy happy. And if it makes Daddy happy, then I'll do it.

I sit there in my crib, practicing. I'll be careful, I'll be quiet. I don't Mommy and Daddy to hear until its perfect.

* * *

I sit on Daddy's lap while he scribbles in a book, happily gnawing on a cookie. I watch his hand move and black stuff come out of the pen. I don't know what he's doing, but it's fun to watch. It's raining today, so we can't go out and play. Daddy said we might tomorrow, so for today I'd have to be happy inside. Mommy walks in and sits on the edge of the table. Daddy looks up. They talk and I don't pay attention, until I hear them say my name. "How 'bout it Abe, would you like that," Daddy asks. I stare at him. What? Mommy laughs and suddenly I'm in her arms. Daddy following close behind, wiggling his nose at me. I giggle.

Silly Daddy!

We go to the kitchen and I hear water running. I panic. No! Not a bath! Please, not a bath! I HATE baths! I cry, Daddy groans, and I feel bad. "Looks like another battle today," he says to Mommy. She agrees and starts getting me ready to go in the water. I scream. I don't want a bath! I don't want a bath! I don't want a bath! I kick my legs and wave my arms. They ignore me and add soap to the water, making it all bubbly.

"Look Abe, look what Mommy brought you," she says, holding up ducky. I don't care! I still don't want a bath! She hands it to me, but I don't want it. Daddy tries to distract me with it, talking with it and making it squeak as if it's answering. Any other time, that'd be funny, but not today.

I want to say it, but I won't. It's not perfect yet, and I won't say it until it's perfect.

So, I sit and suffer through my bath.

* * *

The room is quiet. So is the whole house. Mommy and Daddy went to bed just a few minutes ago. I should be asleep too, but I can't. There's too much practicing to do! I start with Mommy's name, it's easier to say. I start making the, "m" sound in mommy. "Mmmm-meh-meh-mmmmm-ma! Ma! Ma! Mama," I whisper in the dark. Then I move on to Daddy. "Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh," I say over and over, but I just can't get it out. I grow frustrated and sleepy before deciding that I have all day tomorrow. I close my eyes and sleep.

Then I remembered why I don't like sleep.

* * *

They were saying things I didn't understand. Everyone was scared and hungry and tired. I could tell because they acted like me when I feel that way. Everything was dark. A lady held me to her. Her arms felt like sticks and her voice was raspy. She sounded so scared, and it scared me." Hush, Kleiner. Ich brauche dich,zu schweigen . Bitte, bitte, sei still. Ich brauche dich, ruhig zu sein," she murmured to me.

I could hear people walking, it sounded more like stomping, up to where we were. Everyone started screaming more things I didn't understand.

"Sie kommen!"

"Heute Abend werden wir sterben!"

"Dies ist das Ende!"

The lady's eyes popped out of her head, she looked all around her, but I don't know what for. She grabbed a box and put me inside. I didn't like it there, it smelled funny and I felt like I would fall through the bottom at any moment. She hid me somewhere cold and dark. I couldn't see anything but I could hear and smell just fine. The air smelt bad. I can't exactly describe the scent, it was something I had never smelt before. There was angry yelling, loud bangs and screaming. I whimpered. The lady pressed a kiss to my forehead and stroked my cheek. "Heute Abend treffe ich mein Ende und Sie haben Ihre Beginn treffen . Ich liebe dich mein süßer Engel. Immer wissen, dass."

She left me there, in the dark without another word. There was more yelling, more loud bangs, more screaming. The bad smell in the air got worse.

I cried because I was all alone.

* * *

I woke up crying, scared out of my mind. I wanted Mommy and Daddy. I need them, and I need them now. First came Mommy in her night dress. I reached for her, opening and closing my hands, trying to show her how much I need her. She scoops me up, strokes my hair and rocks me side to side, asking what's wrong. I wish I could tell her. I wish I could tell her about the bad smells and the scary box. I wish could tell her about the yelling and the funny words that I don't know. I wish I could tell her everything, beg her to take it all away. I don't know how to say all that yet.

I wanted Daddy here too, his big, strong arms make me feel sake. Maybe he can chase all the bad things away? I don't care if it's not perfect, I needed Daddy now and Mommy won't know that unless I say. "Duh-Duh-Da-Da. Dada!" The rocking stops and Mommy looks at me. She asked me what I said, so I said it again as I continued to cry. "Dada!"

"Henry," she called.

Daddy ran in, sliding in his socks. I stretched my arms out for him, opening and closing my hands. "Dada, dada, dada, dada," I cried. Daddy stared at me, I just kept reaching for him, trying to climb out of Mommy's arms and into his. He picked me up and I clung to his chest and cried some more.

I wish I could say I'm scared. I wish I could tell him what I saw, but I think he knows. He rocks me the way he usually does, stroking my hair and bouncing me. I cling to his chest, scared to let go, scared to look up. Mommy's talking to me in soft voices, Daddy is too. They tell me that everything is okay, that they'll always be there to protect me. For a while, I just listen to them talk, and I feel less scared. I wish I could tell Mommy and Daddy how much I love them.

I can't, I don't know how.

For now.

But I can show them. I place one hand on each of Daddy's cheeks and say his name, he smiles at me and kisses my forehead. I do the same to Mommy and she cries. I frown, but then she smiles and kisses my forehead too. They both hug me. Daddy is laughing and smiling and I feel good. I did it. I made Daddy happy again.


End file.
